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“When you’re younger and growing up and trying to define who you are, to be rejected because of your skin colour can cause you to have issues about your race,” he said. While Edge feels more comfortable and confident right now, he doesn’t discount the harm that racist attitudes can have on younger queer people of colour as they begin to explore their intersectional identities. “It’s mostly subtle racism but I don’t think people realise the effect is has on someone.”
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“Some ethnic guys will hide their face on their profile because they’re afraid of the reaction they’ll get. “It’s like you’re chatting to me because I don’t have an image but as soon as I do show an image you won’t have a bar of me because I’m black,” he said. black and gay, Edge found that a lot of African-American men would have a blank profile as a means to avoid warding off prospective suitors. When fellow Melburnian Justin Edge jumps onto gay hook-up apps he often faces a revealing double standard: more men will chat to him if he doesn’t have a photo than if he does. “We need to initiate education and conversations where people question why they have these ‘preferences’ and not simply see it as okay.”
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They need to get out of their bubble and approach people of different ethnicities as actual human beings. “White men will only accept your differences if they align with their own pre-conceived ideas about how you should be. “People measure you by how well you assimilate but they aren’t fully accepting of your differences. “I think it stems from Australia being a somewhat tolerant but unaccepting country,” he said. To tackle this he said more gay men need to be educated on Australia’s Anglo-Saxon, white-dominant and patriarchal society. When people either fetishise or deride Theo for the colour of his skin online, he believes there are no shades of grey: it’s racism, either subtle or overt, and not simply a ‘preference’. Guys think it’s a compliment to say ‘what does black taste like’ but I think it’s dehumanising.” “The whole ‘othering’ and fetishisation of dark skin and black people usually comes from ignorance. “They can hide behind their screen display or their ‘preferences’ as they like to call it, and perpetrate straight up racism. “It emboldens people and gives them a sense of entitlement,” he said.
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He believes racist attitudes in gay men often manifest on mobile apps like Grindr or Scruff because the Caucasian men perpetrating them are able to do so in a relatively anonymous way.
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“And when you don’t respond they can get aggressive and unleash a torrent of racial slurs, screaming obscenities like ‘n****r’.”Īs a gay man with an African father and an Aboriginal mother, the intersectional discrimination and racism Theo has faced may be varied, but it’s certainly not limited to heterosexual spaces. “It relates back to the slave days so you’re pigeonholed, and when guys meet you they expect you to be a violent, dominant top with a 12-inch-cock. “I’ve had people approach me and start a conversation with preconceptions around black men they’ve learned from the porn industry which are deeply and inherently racist and dehumanising. “It’s racism that exists in the wider community that replicates in the gay community with the same kinds of power structures,” Theo said. Melbourne-based Theo was once messaged on a gay dating site by a Caucasian man who wanted him to role play as a slave, with the man playing the part of ‘owner’. However, for queer people of colour who don’t emulate the restrictive beauty standards often set on social dating apps, navigating sex online can be a battleground.Ī battleground that either renders them invisible or as the object of someone’s fetish, with the line between racism and ‘personal preference’ sparking much contention.
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